We are a licensed foster family, so of course I had to notify a bazillion people as to what occurred, and all week we've had to meet with with social workers and therapists. We are living under the confines of a safety plan that no normal functioning family could possibly follow... especially in a FOUR level house with FOUR children (yes, I've already looked into any free cloning clinics - I need about 4 of me :P ). "Ok, mommy has to go potty now...um...well...hmmmm??? Never mind, I'll just tinkle in a cup right here in the family room. ????" Seriously its nuts. Saying its been stressful, emotional, depressing is putting it lightly. Its absolutely unreal.
On top of that we've had just little stupid things happening; things that alone would be nothing. Yet, this week they feel massive. The alternator in the van went out - whoop, whoop!! for a 1997 electric car that has to be plugged in and has a limit of 5 miles! The dryer had some minor repair, Olivia has had an unexplained rash that comes and goes - the doc says it could be stress related, poor kid! - and then last night the garbage disposal died which has left this fantastic pukey type substance filling my sink. Nummy!
Does it ever feel like you're just being attacked!? I'm so there! I'm thinking a dirt floor hut in the middle of nowhere sounds pretty darn good right now! Yeah, especially 'cause that will eliminate the "how can mommy go pee and supervise" issue. Nice!
Through my devotions this week though I've been reminded of several things...things that put my heart at ease (and momentarily make some of the sarcasm depart from my sinning little lips, lol).
God is our Powerful Sustainer - "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15
Even when the world around us is going bazirk He is in control and we know that through Him who gives us strength we can do all things.
God can Transform Hearts - "God works all things for good." Romans 8:28
Just as the spring rains transforms our sleepy barren lands into lush, colorful and beautiful landscape, God takes that which we can see little hope and transform it. Things that seem impossible become miracles.
God is our Refuge - " Trust in Him at all times. Oh, people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalms 62:8
Even in times when it would be so easy for me to turn my back to God, I won't. He is in everything. He can either calm the storm or He will give me the strength to endure the storm.
Now, back to what the DJ said... just like spring comes in the midst of harsh winds, rain and fluctuating, unpredictable temperatures....just like under labor bones grow stronger... or the forest is allowed to restart and thrive only after a devastating wild fire WE grow in times of hardship. Yes, this is a 'duh' thought, I know. But so often we forget to SEE it. In times of trouble and chaos we just flip out right along with it. The reality though is that adversity, hardship, and mounting issues we are given a great classroom for our hearts and souls.
What's really important becomes more obvious. We become more creative, more apt at problem solving. People come together and show true love - the real love. Things fall back into place, sometimes even a better 'place' than they were before the chaos.
While I wish that a few things hadn't happened this week, I also must fully admit that I believe because they did, things will fall into a better place.
May all who are struggling with hardships right now know that you are in my prayers... know that you're loved, and keep your head up. For if you're too busy spazzing out with the dysfunction or too busy looking down you just might miss the good things that will come from it.
God Bless!
~M
Don't you sometimes wish we had catheters? Haha. Or diapers in our size? Just kidding.
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